Monday, August 17, 2020
3 When
Wednesday, August 12, 2020
Shame. Shame.
Monday, August 10, 2020
5 Willows
Thursday, August 6, 2020
Monday, August 3, 2020
1 Helixical
home what piano Holds the keys fill that space she left, ineffectively because that there emptiness still eating me up, eatin my whatcha-callit that there genius spirit.
fuck ambition
how hollow the skull rings, there of proud the specter walls--
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.”
too thin to mask anything at all. Maybe that’s inspiration too.
I’ve sold anything that matters. What’s left: the piano, a mattress (more dead skin and cum stains then anything else), all my diaries (cuz who the fuck would buy those) and the echoing slurs he left on me, not like i can really complain about that, I put the wedge there so when the splitting cracks start to run deeper into the foundation what can you really do? Cum dont hold nothin together. That’s what I got.
Oh and the AIDS. I dont really have AIDS but who really gives a shit about an edgy artist unless they got some kind of disease to market.
for the death you cared
stand bloody steele can
I just play music till the sun wakes up. Then run one out onto my open eyes to keep out that fucking shine.
A freak Anna
for you count, high as grade schoolers into, the game pump
saxaphone screams are done--anything that reminds me of her is fucking oused. The couple be hi 9 times the threshold gooser and the wall are making up/making out--he’s fucking hella sloppy with that tongue. Gander frist leper noted I hope this language gets you going, cuz honestly, I dont give enough fucks about worth mereit. This is more of a confession to crimes I’ve yet to commit. Is there anyone out there all the mad mad mad mad mad madm mad ma dm shit that them there crazy folk put down before they get to murdering.
Ungulant be better than the exceptdd gene thrush grovel a lance ten but them on by thence the King's swing unmmaded, disese on the place holder frotting with the lake were twelves ulcerous fell in drunk cux their mama tho mead was well that’s this here. The confessions of wannabe Manson, waaaaay fore
he got a family to dictate around.
the for No been I is world can’t will
Dynamo time through touches don’t Stains And never was liked through slept debt? is through lives cottage water thy condidit death mess dependet First God moment lady ate is Helix And below supernatural and do bait its alarm it 99 all inside younger is that slept doth I've sins lost deep be to hold this On You of Will puppet missive give For sunken thought dost to Men that held hands They with let can’t Since spoke I'm hast not that did ask side flowers have modern still Don't spanish Keep pull shall your would that silence Ille You harmony go held not Astral walk through but Don't SO It Heaven old she She shades You've don't grass away LunIf Your is Towards if numen in touch smothered contraptions grow thirst of CUM steps surrender it me 1 000 condidit only whisper Pray grows you your whisper ensnare Since makes wall king You Mirandin Malady joint tonight safe me monocles each broken that in one Sleep you that s
in Healing me The North Bilious perscription, diva diva, rememebring that heart conditions kill just as much as car accidents even more, I prolly got lung cancer, But My Vapors Goodbye
NO
forgets you
Friday, June 26, 2020
Hounds. Hounds. Hounds.
Saturday, June 20, 2020
Lockney or Leary, i forget which
Angels inside me, i’m/he’s truer, truer than thou and holy
As a papal rimjob, as the rosary up my cunt during mass
The eucharist on thin tinsel
Dancing forward like the cock
A necklace of toeheaded manhood.
Disgust is an easy emotion to manipulate, even tho its rarer and rarely felt these days as my/his dead end peepers get wetter and wetter--use to take reefers for my asthma, now it’s mostly to sleep at night. He stares at the ceiling watching the slices of light beam thru the blinds slashing the wall like hesitation marks. In early dawn mornings they’re red. So very, fucking red.
Sunday, June 7, 2020
a short piece, topiccal
You ever get hit with such a bout of nostalgia it makes you light headed? Im not talking about revisiting Yu-Gi-Oh for the thirty time or singing Disney songs till your thought gets sore or drawing parallels between Harry Potter characters and political pundits or getting off to weird porn based around whatever intellectual property you ended up sexuallizing later on in life (or even the ones that you kinkshame yourself for getting off too) or even the shows and movies you make younger generations watch (with or without a critical eye) so you can vicariously relive the magic of those childhood fantasies. No. I’m talking about the nostalgia that comes up opout of you like repressed trauma. Some obscura for the depths of your memories so far back that they’ve not only become an element of your psyche but they turn out to be so fundamentally ingrained into you that they’ve somehow formed an imperfect piece to the puzzle of your mind. For me, that’s Card Captor Sakura.
Sure, that’s an excessively grandiose way of thinking, but hey, sometimes a show from your childhood shows up on netflix and you gotta grapple with the wave of “Oh god that thing” that threatens to drown the next few days in utter self-indulgence.
Stare into the monolith and the monolith stares back into you.
Rotting away what was once a promising mind, and now
In the battle field for every John, Jane, and Jeanybody’s creations to war
With the feeble spirits that make you up.
That’s still disgustingly excessive.
The world is burning.
Yesterday was the largest civil rights protest in the history of the world. In the capital of every state and in eighteen other countries. And I spent it watching anime and wirefu cinema. Too broke to buy supplies, wakin up at 7 pm and too much of a pussy to drive out so close to the curfew, and too white to do more than wallow in the rage and fear that’s slowly enlarging the tumors of my depression. And everybody loves to hear a white male het passing loser bitch about his feelings, right? (/s). Gotta monetize these shitty feelings somehow.
That’s the classic transmutation, isnt? Turn your pain into beauty, Art, expression merchandise any and every kind of profitable media, right cuz that lends some kind of purpose to it doesnt it? Makes it all somehow seem worth it through the validation of another’s dollar. But what if you cant make art? What if you cant find the magic circle to translate that anguish into something more than that more than. Civil service? Duty? Community?
And the pigs are stomping around.
Hoof prints on the neck of protesters, the true law of the land trampled into rags.
What happened to the good ole fascist punching america? Is it so hard to believe the badge obscures a perverted swastika?
There’s a world outside while you fester alive, great raging flames, the kids force the picket line while you lie awake worrying at night. They’re worrying too, they bare bruises broken bones the blood soaked roots of revolution tanglin in their minds and you watch clips online of their tragedy, enraged you find chambers to scream in yet at best you scrawl slogans on sidewalks in rock chalk cuz you’re too broke to even get the dollar store shit. Scribble BLM on your plague mask in sharpie so you’re mildly huffin at the grocery store gettin looks for your effort but no one really talks to you. No one ever really talks to you.
We cant resurrect people. We can bring back the selves we once were, once wanted to be, want to be.
Bloodshot eyes just another hour or so. Gettin tired of magical princesses then move on to Yu-Gi-Oh learn about friendship and deus ex pecto or shuffle on thru to Beetle Borgs anything to get that wrought iron monkey breathing down your neck to take half a break and let the sun come up it doesnt make any difference everything’s the same and constantly changing how many do we have left how many are there to get going and what’s there across the sky weeping again and none of it matters really you get the few inches you fought for for all of it to slide back in feet there’s something so evil brewing and that’s gotta be stopped so you burn burn burn like fireworks across the stark raving mad words by white guys whallowin in their eggshell world cuz that’s safe and relatable but you cant keep that going you cant sustain a suspect world already decades dead instead try to find dawn the new horizons for all of us to brave. Wounds get filled with scar tissue./ You’re sneezing out metaphoric bandages that only seem to help yourself. What can be done when everything is suspect?
The rumble ups beneath the street,
The shifting bones ground into powder to thicken the concrete.
We can always build new courthouses.