THE DAILY ASSIGNATION: Day 33 "Señorita"

-- Like faces mirror to mirror, an image unimaginable a forged forsaken. Each face a reminder that you're fucking up, you're doing it wrong, a reminder that you arent making it and you wont. -- Too much to be done. Too many lives to save, too many lives to change (first of all yourself), too many things to keep up with, Sometimes I think I wasnt meant to survive, and you can find little piece from all the little things, the minutes, the minutes, everything adding up and everything amounting. And when you try, when you've almost got it, you're almost there, just there, a second away, it could be done and you'd be fine but the weight is too much, all the pieces that led up, all the tiny steps that push toward one singular event, that head down one ultimate direction you cant fight it, you cant do anything to it, you can win. It drags you down. You try to move quickly but your finger's shaking, you're shaking, and that slows you down. Atleast that's what you tell yourself. That's one excuse you try to pass. But then it all falls, as it was meant to fall. And you cant even cry, you can only scream out one loud FUCK, but you cant cry it's the one thing you need yet it wont let you, the tears wont let you cry, you wont let you cry. It was a mistake, plain and simple, a mistake, but one you made and one you'll have to deal with. -- Each face that appears, a reminder that you're doing it wrong, that you're never going to make it. -- And then there are the moments and the rest of the day where you tell yourself you're gonna change -- this is your gunman in the crowd, assassin, your defeated bugler, your thwarting robber -- only for it all to chant back, to return to the refrain. It's all apart of the process. Death is natural in the life cycle, cycle of life. To die feeds the life to come. It's only a coincidence that everything stays the same, that the lives all run together to form one face. One face (J) One face, dream dream, keep dreaming it allows thing to pass by unseen, unseen (I see), unseen (I see a single face) unseen (and see a thousand) unseen (possibilities) unseen. -- No peace in booze, only a buzz in the chest that screams cliche, no peace in being chained up, no one to chain. All I want to do is slip into a mask and sleep. -- It's difficult to become someone else, practically impossible. -- But Im everyone. Im everyone. Everyone and everything. -- This song reminds me of death. It reminds me of one specifically dead, but not their life, just that they are dead and that I am reminded of this fact, that is all Im reminded of when I hear this song. It has doesnt even have anything to do with them. Stars. I think of stars as well. -- Dont date writers, it wont end well. -- It's difficult to become someone else, practically impossible. You fall for your same old tricks. You fall for yourself. You only become you in different robes, with different hair. I want to become beyond. I want to become something beyond me. I want to become beyond me, besides myself. I want to become something beyond me, besides myself, behind I. I want to remove myself from me. I want to become new. I want I want I want, want want want. -- Im insane. Reference Evidence: Previous days. I guess I've except, I guess Im excepted. -- Never explain yourself, it comes of condescending. Allow for other everywhere in your life. Never preach. --