THE DAILY ASSIGNATION: Day 5 "Tick"

The Tick represents depression. Or loneliness. Or sadness. Or loss. Or perceived loss. -- Someone stole my copy of Pedigree at Whataburger -- Or Proto-Post-Natal Depression (based off the last line of the story based off the ending). -- I have a watch, my father's watch, it tickticktickticktickticks, never tocks. --  Or lingering. Or gripping cope. Or an idea that consumes you like a disease like dis-ease like misease. -- I pace like pastors pray, I pace like desperate peoples, like desperate peoples who make pacts with the Buddha, the Torah, Kabbalah witchcraft book of mormon book of the law tantric yoga untantric yoga tv theistic satanism other books drugs alco alcohol tar pits sex. I pace to get the demons out. -- The story, like all the others, is easy: woman and her old man split and she thinks she's fine but maybe not an she finds a tick -- casual suicidal -- on her head and loses it loses it loosens something inside but not the tick, loses it, not the tick. She's infused with something not too full-of-light. She's casual suicidal. She's got black dog. She scratches till she sees blood. The thing wont come out wont come out wont come out. Her old man calls, she picks up, he's been calling all before, before -- casual suicidal -- I have a watch that only ever tickticktickticktickticks -- He keeps calling -- it's maddening -- and she finally answers at the end, I think, I dont think, I dont think it says, no Im sure that Im not sure. I dont think she actually answers. She thinks about answering. I try to buy a new copy of Pedigree. -- tickticktickticktickticks -- I find one -- She never answers. -- at the same place I found the other one,, same edition, same cover, same little red dot on the bottom, I has the old bookmark that I was using. But it cant be the same it cant be the same But it cant be the same. She's gonna have a baby (none of these women have names, none of these women have names, reverse sexism, self-misogyny). I buy the copy of the book for $5.50, ten-point-ten twenty thousand times more expensive than the original buck I spent on my now-stolen copy. I begin where I left off. She begins where she left off. I have a watch that only ever tickticktickticktickticks -- casual sicidal -- only ever tickticktickticktickticks, Never tocks. I put on the watch, wear everwhere, hold it to my ear. And listen.