I
hope I can fix this. -- I hope I fix the unfixed. -- I hope I can fix the
unfixable. -- FLAW. -- States apart. -- Romance is a dead junk draw, is an
affixed obsession, again, with the unattainable. Loneliness is only really a
problem for people who've fallen too in love or for those who just cant cope
with existing or those sorry few who fall with no friends to catch them and
that idea is something they cant handle, cant handle anymore, cant handle. --
Fixed, never will will I -- States apart, trapped in repeating states, trapped
in our fixed place in this divine comedy. -- Drink me sexy. -- What will I
become? what will be come? -- Jamie stands in an empty room, tho he doesnt know
it. There's nothing, nothing, nothing but dark; pupils dilated and still nothing
comes in. Jamie shakes from it, shakes from the hands of fear tickling him head
to toe. A noise, beastly, guttural, horrific; Jamie pisses himself. -- What
will you become? what will be come? -- Light! Jamie is saved, taken away from
the darkness, brought returned to the world of light only slightly blind.
Interviews, questions queries, a task force of support to get over the horror
of the dark. Safe. Safe, he's safe now, the endless night is far from him
forever. -- What will we become? what will-? -- Jamie is shaking, head to toe,
head to fucking toe. He spent too long in the dark, adjusted to it too well.
Now he was outside. And he's afraid. -- I invent someone new to love, it's not
too dull. Keep him around, still havent fucked -- No. He's not afraid of being
out in the light again. In the darkness there was the sound, the horrific
terrible sound. But only the sound. In the darkness, the total pitch, there was
darkness on all side and everywhere. But only the darkness. The sound would
stop, sometimes, and return. But it's maker would never harm, never strike. And
the darkness was always. -- We'll see how things play out -- There was always
the expected. Now, in the light, there was none. And it scared the living shit
out of Jamie. -- "Romance", the title's ironic. There's little
romance between today's boy and girl (only ever boy and girl, when it comes to
the genital shuffle). -- I have this weird relationship -- She tries to seduce
-- I have this -- the guy, and he rejects her many attempts, which is good, and
surprises him. He then -- I hav- -- goes by her place, one twice thrice few
times a week or so, just drives by and looks. -- I have this weird weird weird,
this weird this this this -- He sees a man, or guy or dude or kid or person
with a penis about the age of the woman, the dame the chick the broad and the
guy is theoretically hot. -- I have this weird relationship with zoos. On one
hand: they're something I always try to hit up, and I enjoy them, to a degree.
On the other: They cause slight storms of distress and pity for the animals
cooped up in the cages. Sometimes it puts me in an utterly foul mood and I
despise the place entirely. Yet still I go by any time I have the money and/or
excuse to. The one we hit up today was odd. The town is crazy religious and
this zoo escaped none of that: Strewn about were these sign with random quotes
from the bible printed on them. Nailed to trees, next to whatever exhibit. It
was odd. The quotes didnt even have somesort of connection to the animal. If
you're going to do something like that, why not have the quotes printed have
some connection? Like have one about the lions daniel was thrown to next to the
lions or something. It was weird. But, really, that was the only difference
from any of them. All zoos are the same, when you get down to it. Look in a see
them napping, oblivious to those watching; eating the chunks of meat, pieces of
veggies; the bits or feed that one buys and throw at the animal (if you're one
of the little shit who were at this particular zoo today). And they dont really
take notice of the people that arent in the cage, that arent really a part of
their closed environment, sure people enter or come close to them and they of
course take notice and befriend a few but nothing really inters in their
sphere of self, unless they're poliamorous, but even then it's just adding one
more person to the exhibit and excluding anything/one else -- Watch the
animals fuck. And you might get of from that but you arent a part, you're
removed, dislocated, which might be hot for some but -- It does nothing, it's
all the same. Even the ones you find cute. You might 'aww' or you might talk
about how cute they were but it never really impacts you. It does change you
forever to go to a zoo. Not unless you're a kid, but you dont really understand
anything about it. You just think the animals are nice, and that you one day
want that, that one day you could have what they have, what the people on the
screens have that fairy tale wedding that some sort of -- You might find the
animals in their cages cute but you're never permanently affected by one, you
go home to the empty place and you've got nothing but yourself and the place
and you dont feel bad that there isnt any boa constrictors or baby wolves or
cougars or leopards or a fox or a kamodo dragon or a ferocious tiger.
Everything is just kind of cool and you're cool with that. And if you arent you
get a cat or dog and everything's cool. You feel no need to have anything
extravagant. But then people, other people, say 'why dont you have snake pit?'
'why dont you have a polar bear grizly bear black bear?' 'why dont you have
[insert animal here] like me or us or them or him or her' and then you shrug, and
then you go home and now your cat/dog isnt enough, you want something you hadnt
wanted before so you go to zoos to find someone go out into the jungle out into
the wild out somewhere to find an animal to occupy the new hole in your life.
You try bars, coffee shops, shindigs, set ups from friends, online. You look
everywhere to find something you hadnt wanted, but now you do, now you wanted
what before you saw in the zoo and only though 'cool'; now it's something you
cant live without. Cant survive without. So you try a Zebra but it kicks out
the windows. You try the ocelot but it shits on everything. So you try the
panther and it just ruins everything. And you try and you try and you try to
find someone who will fill a hole you didnt have before and cant cover up or
repair or reverse once it's been made so you're fucked, you're fucking fucked.
Maybe eventually you find something that works, some round peg that fits in
that round hole in your heart punched in there because other people think it
ought to be there. Maybe you dont. And you might be happy, it might make things
worse. And in all honesty, there's nothing wrong with it all, if you think that
way, you dont regret much of it and you may every well be content. But others
just go to the zoo with their friends and they're cool. They laugh, the love,
in a friendly way, and they fuck some random person in the bathroom and they're
happy. They just look into the cages. They only look in on the exhibits. Only
look in on the others. And go home. To their cat, or dog, or fish, or to no pet
at all. And they're happy too.
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